Okay, okay. So I'm not obese. I fully acknowledge that. But I no longer resemble my former NCAA athlete, or teen-dream-model self.
My background? My genes are pretty good. Mom is 5'9", 59, and still has killer legs. While she generously passed on her lengthy limbs and "ample" attributes, she also managed to share her total lack of a torso, and her magical ability to only store fat in a 2" band around her midsection like a freaking camel.
I love you mom. Love you lots, but that camel hump thing has got to go. Basically what happens is that regardless of how much weight I gain, I gain it only in my camel hump which means that I essentially look like a block o' cheese with a few toothpicks sticking out. I've gotten pretty good at masking the ever present hump/ring/thing. But I'm sorta over it.
Oh, and the idea of the ever important "WEDDING PHOTOS" looming in a year mean that I'd reeeaaalllly like to ditch the hump in time to look like a freaking knockout in a dress that undoubtedly my father will be conned into spending way too much $$$ on. (thanks dad!).
The moral of the story? I'm 8lbs away from my "ideal" weight (and none of it is muscle). I'd be thrilled if I could simply ditch the first 5 lbs which is all I need to get back into my skinny jeans, my favorite cocktail dress and even more important... the little black breeches (LBB).
Though, in fairness, the one pair (wait.. no two pairs..) of breeches that actually fit me best are black.. One tired pair that's pushing 15 years old (they refuse to roll over and DIE) and my FITS. Everything else I continuously buy too small (I refuse to purchase anything over a certain size), and in fact my current favorite pair of schooling breeches (confession) don't actually button all the way. They have two "buttons" which are really those hook and loop things, which I wear with only one overlapping button, slide... loop, thing.
I guess I'll have to figure out what my actual goals are. "5lbs" never works for me, and realistically isn't going to get me skinny, or keep me fit for the long haul. Maybe a good starting spot would be to actually do cardio 3-4 times a week (current rate is 1x a week) and to maybe stop attacking the peanut butter jar like it might actually retaliate and scoop me out if I don't beat it to the punch.
Do those count as goals?? I can never tell... Maybe I need to think on this more
- Gingham (Pia's Mom..)